Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Ben #10

Well... What a week. I have no idea where to begin first off I received letters this week and wow were they a huge help for me. Like my brother Matt this week has been a tough one for me. Dad, your email you sent was for sure inspired. I have been really frustrated this week cause I have noticed some missionaries dont really like the rules much. I stood up for myself at our zone conference and some started to laugh at me and telling me it was just cause I was a new missionary, they then told me give it a few months and I will be doing just the same stuff... NO WAYhaha I only have one chance to live this misison and I want to give it my best. Its the Lords time not mine. I will have plenty of time in the future for all those other things. Now its the Lords time. So Dad thank you It helped so much and gave me that extra boost cause I was really discouraged about it all, but I know what I want as a missionary and I want to serve my Lord with all my heart.
Well this week was another roller coaster. I dont know where to start. Our investegators have been really wishy washy. Im praying for them all the time that they will read the Book of Mormom and pray. I am not going to give up on them!  Please pray for them also...This week I really tried to talk with people. Because at the start of the week (along with Matt haha we both really are going through the same stuff) I broke down. I remember we left a house where I taught the first lesson. When I finished teaching, my companion pretty much just  had to teach it again cause they didnt understand a word I said. I cannot tell you how frustrating that is. When we left the house I remember just sitting down on the curb and placing my hands tightly to my face and slowly letting the tears come... I felt so helpless, so alone, and so useless, I began to again think to myself Heavenly Father why on Earth would you call me here? I am just wasting your time. I cant even teach your gospel to these people! Then I felt something incredieble inside me. This sense of peace and longing... I looked up and say the prettiest sunset overlooking the banana fields of Campinas. I then knew it doesnt matter if I cant talk I just have to rely on HIM, and know that through time I will speak it. I know every week I say something to that effect and its because I see how important it really is in our lives. We need him, we need our SAVIOR. 
The next day after that experience they put us on a division cause my companion had a trainer meeting with president Tanner... My companion that I was assigned with was ElderGamblin, he has been out the same time I have... can I just tell you how nerve racking that was haha. and what made it even scarier was that I was in charge as senior companion cause we were going to my area Anhanguera... AHHHH I was so scared, but I cant tell you how much success we had that day. It was by far the best day I had. I talked with so many people and they actually understood me! It was such a awesome experience... I still dont know harldy anything put it just built my testimony on putting our trust in god... Be quick to remember him in EVERYTHING! The perfect example was the nephites at the end of Helaman. Sameul taught that we need to be quick to remember our God and not slow. The nephites were being pretty slow also... I was really slow before my mission haha let me tell you... but now I see how important it is so give thanks to him for everything we have. This mission is great and really opening my eyes to the things that are really important. Im working hard and trying my best, mom thank you for your scriptures you sent. I really needed those. I know that the lord will help me through this. Its hard living in a different country, you see things that you would NEVER see in America... haha I wont go into details. Some things are funnier then others, but I love this gospel and this work I have a sure and firm testimony... And I want to end with a funny story if thats ok haha
Last Saturday We were teaching a family (Igor and his family) When a man burst in through the doors. He started yelling and saying random things I couldnt really understand him but I did here Americans in there so I was like oh he is talking to my companion and I so I stood and I smiled and shook his hand... He had the weirdest look on his face and I just introduced myself and he looked even more confused... By this time I knew something was wrong as well. He looked and me again and then just left... It wasnt until we left the house that I asked my companion what that was all about. He told me that that man really hated Americans and thought how rude they were!... Well he couldnt see me while he was saying all of this... So imagine his shock when this white American who can barley speak his launguage walks up to him with the biggest smile and shacks his hand... My companion and the family thought it was the funniest thing. You should have seen his face! It was pretty funny.
Well this is a really long email and your probably bored from reading it. Just know I love you all and Im working my hardest. Im going to follow the rules with exactness Dad and mom cause I cant afford not to have the lords blessings ecspecially right now. :) I love you all and cant wait to hear from you all soon. Have a great week!!!! MATT I LOVE YOU ALSO BRO KEEP UP THE WORK
Love Elder Benjamin B. Doggett
p.s. Rach! I got the pictures they were awesome thank you so much!   

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