Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Ben #18

Wow... This week has been such a humbling experience. My mind and heart is so filled right now that I hope this makes some sense haha but First thank you everyone for your emails. I wish I could respond individually to all of them but time is short, just know I read them all and felt the love you all had for me and your support. What a blessing they have been to read. Jason, Kristin, Olivia... wow what testimonies of the restored Gospel you have. I;m so lucky to have friends like you in my life. Rachel, Alyssa your love and sure commitment to this Gospel and knowledge to follow the spirit. You are looking out for my spiritual wel- being and how amazed I am by your love... thank you... Mom... Dad... Ever week I read your email I feel the SURE love you have for me, your son, half way across the world. I can never say thank you enough, I can never say or express the amount of love I have for you both. Through this mission families have become so important to me. Something I hope to carry with me forever I pray. I love you both so much... Matt your email was exactly what I needed to hear I love you somuch, keep working hard. I know the Lord will bless. I to have been wondering why I havent had any Baptisms. The rules are so important and IM MAKKING SURE I follow them with exactness, which I have been doing. Some missionaries get baptisms even when they dont do all they suppose to... Early in my mission I saw the destruction of the little rules lead to the destruction of greater things though. Even to the point of destroying a mission for some. It was a huge moment for me to realize this... Its funny how Satan works, Right? Little by little till finally he pulls you down to endless misery. Its the little things that get ya... but how great the Atonement is and this Gospel in our lives that there is a way back. 
I dont know where to begin really. Last week in my email. My thoughts in were in 100 different places. Things were just crazy and I hoped that everything made sense in some way. My thoughts have been much like that of my brother, why I havent experienced any success as a missionary yet. I was down and frustrated. I remember last week sometime, walking into my apartment so frustrated! WHY, why was I called hear!? People dont want to hear the gospel they just turn us away, they shut a gate on me, I have a hard time communicating with them... WHY BRAZIL!? How much longer to  have to bear this with patience, how far can my patience go Heavenly Father? I was so frustrated and felt so helpless... Thats when I got on my knees and truely just boar my heart... I, at that moment was filled with so much love, so much peace... Its hard to describe really. During this mission You all have heard my frustrations my hardships... but I testify the Lord lives and loves us. During this week I felt a huge change in my mission... My attitude... I just cant describe what I feel right now. I want to stand and shout with all my heart how much I love and know this gospel to be true. I read this past week "Our Hearitage" and I realized how much the early saints sacrificed for this gospel cause they too knew it to be true! They went through alot more then I had too, and through those experiences the Lord shaped them. What a thing to realize huh? I can MAKE sacrafices for the lord too, I can have a gate slammed on me, or a person reject me cause I have a sure confidence the lord will bring about his true work among his children... and I have the sure knowledge and honor to be his conduit as a missionary. These early saints knew it! So why cant I take faith in it also!... The Lord to will shape my life.
I say this cause this past week I have seen the Lord bring his children unto us. I have seen his hand in the work. We meet a family and were warmly greeted into their home. As we began teaching them, they began opening up to us... Really opening up to us. They went on to describe how their relationship is in jepordy, how all they do is fight and argue. The wife named Celia began to cry along with her spouse. Here in this home were to people looking, and seeking marriage advice from two 19 and 20 year old boys with no such experience. I didnt know where to begin(I mean come on its me everyone, Ben Doggett haha)! But then like I mentioned, I saw the Lords hands. He lead us to this family, not for two boys( Or Ben Doggett) to teach this family how this marriage could be saved, but so he could teach them, so the Lord could teach him is plan of happiness.. What a amazing experience I have had this week. We gave them the Lords advice and to start looking at the good in each other rather focusing on the bad... As we have gone back throughout the week and read scriptures with them I have seen the light change in their eyes, a love return that only God could bring... Seeing this change and hearing them exclaim "We fill a trememdous difference in our lives with this gospel"- it makes it all worth it. I left that house and giving thanks to my God... in our life when we have "the people rejecting us" or "the slamming gates" in our lives remember. Through God all things are possible. That his people are waiting for this gospel.
I hope with all my heart this makes sense haha. My heart is so filled right now with a love for my God its undescriable. I know how important following the rules, keeping the commandments, scripture study, pray, and all these things are. That never giving up and being happy "Bearing thine afflictions" I wish I could individually talk to everyone of you and share my love for the gospel. I wish I could  take you by the hand and intoduce you to the light I see in the eyes of this wonderful couple... The light of the Gospel... I dont know what happened this week but I feel such a love and change in myself. My confidence is high and my love for my Savior sure. I love you all family friends. Please know I pray for everyone of you everynight... I hope to hear from you all soon. As Matt said Brazil is hot right now but im loving every moment of being a missionary.You have the chance to have a focused mind on the things of the Gospel daily. What a Blessing! I hope with all my heart that this email in some way may help one of you realize the love the Lord has for us. I love you all
Eder Benjamin B. Doggett    
MOM! I got your package and wow! It was the BEST I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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