Matt#30

Well what a week.... I cant express how much I love you all and how much I miss you all. This week wont be a very good e-mail which I'm really sorry for family and friends because I only have a few minutes to write this e-mail before p-day ends but things have been going pretty good! :) Thank you all for the E-mails and I hope you know how much I love them. I havent had anytime to read them but I will tonight after our day ends.

   Well Im sure you all wondering how the Baptisms went huh? Well I need to be honest when I say that they didnt happen.... Satan is very real and its crazy to see how hard he works right when everything is about to change in the lives of Gods Children. He doesnt want us to be happy, he only wants us to be sad just like he his... But I want to share something with everyone. Because Satan is real that also means that how incredible Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ are real and they are ALWAYS here for all of us no matter what. I cant express the emotions I felt When our incredible investigators said that they didnt have the desire to be Baptised, I was just beyond devestated. I remember thinking "Heavenly Father how much longer can I go on, how much more can I endure!" It was hard... really hard. These two incredible investigators who have read the Book of Mormon, who are going to church every week, who love the Gospel, and know the church is true just wont make the step to Baptism. They havent explained why only that they dont feel ready. We all have agency if we didnt that would defeat the whole Plan of Salvation but I cant tell you how confused I was that they didnt have the desire to be Baptised.... But a miracle happened. I will never be able to express what happened next but in my Heart their was a burning sensation like never before I looked at my two investigators, my two best friends here in Brasil and I expressed with all my heart how much I loved them... I couldnt hold back the tears (Like always here on the Mission, I cry way to much here) I just cried and expressed my love to them... they cried to and I knew the Savior was with us at this moment and even though they still are confused about Baptisms we will never give up on them. Its funny actually, so many times on the Mission I have yelled and complained to my Lord and Savior in my Heart because I havent recieved any Baptisms but hes never given up on me, it was like my incredible father said. "Its not about the Baptisms, Baptisms are only one of the many blessings we receieve because of the Mission." How true that is! I really feel my own personal conversion growing each day here on the Mission. I love all my investigators including Alexandre and Nayane with all my Heart. I know they will be Baptised and maybe it wont be me that has that Sacred honor of Baptising them... but I know that all things especially here on the Mission are part of our Heavenly Fathers plan. That we must always keep are heads up and keep working hard" :) I will never forget the time my Brother and I had the chance to place a Book of Mormon together on that oni-bus several months ago... I dont know what happened with that young women, maybe shes Baptised now and has a whole new life. Im not sure what happen but I do know the Lord placed two twin brothers side by side to talk to this women in very broken Portuguese and to share his Gospel. Im also not sure what the future with my Missios and my life will be but I know that God places everything in our lifes for a purpose. He always gives us exactly what we need to succed and grow. Pretty awesome huh? We will always succed through our Savior. Family and friends im had one of the most devestating and difficult weeks of my life here on the Mission... but you know what? It wasnt hard and all. :) I love that qoute that goes some what like this "Its not the the thing your doing gets easier only that your capacity to do the thing increases." Thats how this week was for me. I'm changing (Thank goodness) I look but on my past life in Rexburg and it makes me sick to think of the things I used to say, the way I treated my Parents and friends... I was kind of a pride full young man hahah. I know that I will always be gratfull for my Mission and for the experiences I am having and will countinue to have. :) I love you all so much, sorry this e-mail isnt the greatest but remember always that I will never give up! I cant give up because our Lord and Savior never gave up when he took upon him the Sins of the World. Family Friends also thank you for your prayers for Alexandre and Nayane. I know that the Lord poured out his blessings upon us because of your faith and prayers. I love you all so much and I cant describe how much much strength you give to ben and I here on the Mission. The Mission is kinda hard but now that I'm seven months out im learning its only hard when you make it hard... because when we truly turn things of to the Lord, he makes things pretty easy! :) I love you all and I know this Gospel is true... If you want to know why Im here I will tell you... Im here to bring people to understand the exact same joy we as members of the true church of Jesus Christ feel every day of our lifes. How blessed we all are in our small town of Rexburg (Our small town of ZION) :) haha I love you all and thank you for all that you have given to me. I know this church is true and I love my Lord and Savior. Love Elder Matthew Ryan Doggett.