Monday, September 10, 2012

Ben #21

This week was quite an amazing experience for me. I witnessed Gods hand in his work and I dont even know where to start as usual. The Blessings that came flooding down upon me and the experinces I had are unlike anything I could have imagined. I wish I could tell everyone of you the lessons I learned but as always there just isnt time. I am keeping a excellent Journal full of all my experiences so dont worry, eventually you will be able to hear them all. First mom, dad your emails inspired me so much. I had to grab my study journal and record many of your words. I truely needed to hear those words from you both that were guided from the spirit. Thank you for Bradys email also mom I really love hearing how my buds are doing in their missions. Brady, you are an inspiration to me. I knew you would be an amazing misisonary. I would like his imformation so I can write him though, Tell his family hello as well and I love the Stewart-Chesters! :) Also Tyson, Jordan, Jason thank you for the updates I love you both so much and for your emails. I really needed them. Heidi! It was amazing to hear from Parker! I would also love his information as well. Olivia also thank you for your testimony you shared this week with me. Its such a strength to have so many people around me to bear testimony of this Gospel. You all mean so much to me and I love you dearly. Thank you. 
Well as to the events of this week. My heart is full of love for this Gospel. I had quite the experience that opened my eyes to such an eternal perspective of Gods work. This work is not mine but truely his. This week at around 5 o clock Friday evening we made a stop at one of our investigators homes by the name of Laura. We have been teaching here for sometime now and she has been a star investigater, truely an elect from God. She has kept everyone of her commitments and has been reading and prayering daily of the Book of Mormon. She has attended church every sunday for the past 3 weeks and we even had a Baptism set for this weekend. Things were going great. Well as I was saying Friday we showed up to her house. Everyday this past week we tried visiting her but everytime we went she either wasnt home or no one answerd the gate. Today we were sure we were going to find her. We aproached the house and to our delight there she was with her whole family outside their gate. We started the initial approach but soon felt something was off... really off. There was a car further down the road that was going crazy, going every which way down the road gunning it and then insantly slamming on the brakes. Everyones attention was toward that car. As I looked down the dirt street I noticed that the car was in fact Lauras Father. The car soon turned around and her Father began to come back our way. My companion and I sat there in complete confusion at what was going on. So my companion began to talk with Laura about maybe seting up another time that would be better. Laura had so much fear in her eyes and was mumbling some things that either of us understood and no one else in her family was talking or responding to us. Then her father pulled up almost hitting my companion and I. We had to make a quick dodge to the left to miss the front bummper of the car. There was dust everywhere! We then heard him screaming at us. I couldnt understand a word he was saying... but from the look on my companions face I knew it was not good. He finished his rant and gunned off once more kicking dirt into the air. I sat there with my Heart completley torn. We turned back to Laura and said our goodbyes and left. I later found out Her father told us to leave immediatly and never come back, using some harsh words, but as we walked away I saw tears rolling down Lauras face.
As we were walking away I was devestated. She was an amazing investigator and ready for the Gospel. Heavenly Father why!? Why was this all happening!? I sat down on a bench further up the road just so depressed. I felt like such a useless missionary and began to just choke back my tears. The emotions were attacking me once more. I was just so helpless. I just felt like a usleless missionary. I just cant describe it. Then the words of Jeffery R. Holland came into my mind that my amazing brother had sent me a week prior. Elder Holland said "A great swimmer was once asked how do you do it, what is you big technique? The swimmers reply was I kick when I dont want to kick, I strock when I dont want to strock."- at this moment I knew I had to kick even though I knew not why. Even though every desire had left me, even though I doubted ever ounce of me being here... I kicked. Sometimes we need to keep going even when we dont know why and just put our trust in God and be like Nephi. I sat up, sucked up my emotions, said a humble prayer and felt the power of heaven comfort my heart. I just knew in that instant ever thing would be alright, that the Lords work will not be frustrated by man. 
Sunday came and I sat in Elders quorm doing my best to follow. (they talk fast Portugese haha) The lesson was on Faith. As the lesson was going a young man walked in and sat quietly in the corner. I had never seen him but there was something special about him. As the lesson drew further on I couldnt stop staring at him. What was it about him that was so special? Then it came, The Elders quorm president said a comment concerning faith and what we have faith in. This young man raised his hand and said "I have faith that someday my entire family will be members of this great church." He then perceded to tell us all about his cousin... Laura. How she has been searching for the Gospel for some time because of him and his family without being able to find it here in Anhaguera. He told her through the phone to look for the misisonarys, LOOK for the missionarys! A few days after Elder Clay and I began to tach her. He looked over at us and said wih tears in his eyes that his faith is working. There wasnt a dry eye in that room, the spirit was so strong. He went on to tell us that on Friday her father was drunk and he threatened his family if they accepted us anymore, thats why they were so scared, but that now everything is calmed down and That his cousins want the Gospel more then ever. I sat there and felt the true blessings of God rain down upon us. I never felt anything like that. I have such a burning truth of this Gospel. I know it is true, I know Gods work will not be frustrated and that it will move on contunllay. Man cannot destroy it but only progress it. We will be teaching Laura tonight with her mother and cousin... I just cant wait. I love this gospel and this oppurtunity to be a missionary. Its truely something unique to wittness, and ecspecially to be Gods chossen in his work. Ive never been so happy... I still have so much to learn and so much I need to improve but I know through God all things are possible. Family Friends. Trust him, have faith in him, Kick when you dont want to kick, and he will pour his blessings upon you and make you what you need to be is my prayer and testimony. I love you all and once again thank you for all you do for me. For your examples and love. I hope to once again hear from you all soon. With complete love and gratitude for everyone of you and being filled with the Spirit, I hope you have an amazing week... Trust in you savior.
Love Elder Benjamin B. Doggett   

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