I cant really sum up the events of the past week as it would take a weeks worth of Journal writting to do that (Good thing I wrote it all down last week in my Journal haha) :) But the events that occured began building and building and BUILDING until it felt like my whole body was going to explode! As we returned home last night from a good days work I felt lost and in an almost depression state. The events of the past week had to deal with me and my personal problems. For those of you who knew me before the Mission or ask my amazing twin Brother Ben what my main weakness was or "is" they would all probably say sharing. Haha I will never forget once my brother Ben asked if he could wear one of my favorite blue sweater/jacket (It kinda looks like a lumber jack workers shirt) and I said that if he ever wore that shirt I would kill him... Haha well one day as I returned home from working at Jamba Ben called me and said they were all down at Olivias house hanging out. I changed fast and made my way to Olivias house... Well as I walked into the door there sat Ben with a big smile on is face and (You guessed it) wearing my SHIRT! :) Now usally I can hold my cool in a situation like this because there were girls there to impress haha but I cracked and my angry came out full force on my dear loving brother... I exploded on my best friend in the world over something that was so small and un-important in the grand scale of things. Luckily for me the Mission has changed many things in my life... Something I will never be able to repay my loving Heavenly Father for. One of those things is Ben your more then welcome to wear that Blue Lumber Jacket Shirt whenever you want and two we need to let the things of the world go. Those small things that we sometimes hold on to we NEED to let them go. Let me give you another exemple. This past week was an interesting one for me as each week is. Its so interseting to see the growth in just a weeks time. I think the problem I had this past week was I was becoming so focused on the approval of the members in my new area and of my new companion... I wanted everyone to think "Wow Elder Doggett is a great Missionary." That I lost focus on the most important approval... The approval from a loving Heavenly Father. That tends to happen alot in our lifes huh? Lets take a look at High School life for example. How many young people are hurt each day at school or how many dreams are crushed because people believe that Approval from the world is more important than the approval from God. Well its interesting to think that this High School attitude also happens in almost any situation in the world including on the Mission. As I came home last night I was frustrated and felt alone... Its was an experince I will never forget. I remember in my heart pleading with my Heavenly Father "Heavenly Father why am I not happy! Why cant I be the Perfect Misisonary that everyone loves! What am I missing?" I remember thinking that I shouldnt have these kinda feelings especially with one year and one month on the Mission, that I should be happy 24/7 especially with the blessings we are recieving. I then felt impressed to read a letter my brother wrote me our last night in the CTM together... Ben I hope you know that everything that you wrote in that letter was excatly what I needed to hear and only our loving Savior knew that almost a year latter it would bless me in more ways then either of us could understand. I realized that the problem had nothing to do with those around me but had everything to do with me personally. I'm not perfect and I have so much more to learn but I'm really trying to become everything my Heavenly Father needs me to be. One of my favorite sayings here on the Mission is that "Recongnizing our weaknesses can be our greatest strengths." We need to work hard and let ourselves go. I love what Elder Jospeh B. Wirthlin said about this matter "Put your Trust in the Lord, do you best then leave the rest to him." Do your best and dont worry about what others say or think. Remember the Lords approval is so much more rewarding. :)
This coming week I'm really going to try harder to forget myself by helping others... I would also like to invite everyone who reads this e-mail to think of someone you can help today. We all need to think a lot less about our needs and focus on those around us. I know that this church is true and I know that when our Savior was helping those in need he didnt once think of himself... He never thought of his needs, and we all know that there was only one perfect man that walked upon this earth and we also know that he set the perfect example. If Jesus never once thought of himself and was the perfect example, than why do we always think of ourselves? lets all do something to change that and I hope to hear from all of you next week on how you all applied this into your own lifes! :) I love you all so much and I hope you can feel this love through the computer. Words cannot describe how much my love has grown for each and everyone of you during this time here on the Mission. I know these things are true and I hope this e-mail was a good one. To be honest I wasnt sure what to write but I hope you all know that I love this Mission and I couldnt be more happier in all my life. Love you all so much and until next week may our loving Heavenly Father bless each one of you. Love you all!
P.S. I couldnt be more excited for this coming Domingo (Sunday)! Its going to be great to see all of your smiling faces! Love you with a full heart. Elder Matthew Ryan Doggett