Monday, October 29, 2012

Ben #28

Well this week was surely a powerful one filled with many tender mercies of God. One of those blessings being the emails of dear family and friends. As Matt said I too cant name people but the testimonies and love they all shared this week brought an unknown power to this humble boy in Brasil. I will be forever grateful for this oppurtunity I have once a week to sit down and be filled with love from those who pray and care for the welfare of their son, brother, and friend across the world. I feel truely blessed at this moment. Matt I did want to let you know how much I love you my dear brother. I think that was beyond the hardest thing I ever experienced in my life and that was to say goodbye to my wonderful brother matt from the CTM... Matt I love you and thank you for that story and strength. Your companion is right, you are always smiling and so happy. Something I wish to aquire just like you. You are such an amazing missionary, if only I good have half the faith love and strength you posses then I could really work miracles... just like you Matt I love you.
Well as for this week it has been one crazy ride. I spent most of the week on a division with my Zone Leader Elder Longhurst. It was insane! He is from Utah but has family that lives in rexburg... actually I went to High School with his cousin Robbie Powell. What a small world huh? haha It was a good division and I learned so much. It felt good to work hard and teach so many wonderful people the message of the restored Gospel. We really hit the streets with contacts and clapping doors. My nerves are finally subsiding as I open my mouth more and speak Portugese. Im really seeing the hand of the Lord guide me and direct me. This week though I have been thinking alot about my mission and everything that has happened over the course of this 7 months. The person I was and now the person I have become. I realize of my many weaknesses and how much I need the Lords help. My brother Matt mentioned something that stuck out to me cause it to has been on my mind this week as well. He mentioned how a new missionary has 13 Baptisms. This to has been on my mind. Its easy to get down and think of yourself as being a useless tool of God when you are doing all you can to acomplish his work but feel so insignifficant. When I was in campinas central last week I went with another missionary to the heart of the city which actually looks a little bit like New York. As I was there we began to make contacts together. This missionary had only been out in the field for 2 months but was able to more clearly explain and connect with the people. I was feeling overwhelmed and much like my brother did this week and was at an all time low. I walked back to the Mission office felling somewhat sorry for myself. Here I am a missionary of 7 months and a new missionary can already teach more clearly and directly, what am i doing wrong. I had been dilligent in my studies and keeping the rules but felt so uselss and lost as a missionary. I just felt so useless to God. Why does he want me here in Brasil? (You have all heard me say this before) As this thought came through my mind and began to remeber all the blessings I have recieved, all the words of advice and comfort from my friends and family and ecspecially those tender mercies from God throughout my entire mission. "Oh beware the natural man for he is an enemy to God!" I was truely humbled at that moment as I looked down and saw the name of our Savior Jesus Christ near my heart... Slowly throughout this mission I have began to notice that his name has been written upon my Heart. I began to realize all his love and mercy towards me, a humble servant of him. I got down on my knees and asked for forgivness. I know family and friends that Gods work will go forth and he has a plan for all of us. nobody is worthless to God... No one... Later that night when I was with my Zone leader he said some really profound words he said "Elder Doggett, If you do all you can on this mission and keep all the commandments and rules I promise you will be blessed and you will see so many of Gods miracles... if not on the mission then after."
I know and testify that if we strive with all our hearts to be what God wants us to be and srtive to do his work he will bless us. Like I said last week we all have different gifts from God. We all are at a different portion of the race and some can do things better then others... but we are all children of God and we are all srtiving for the same goal. Eternal life we must try to expand our talents rather then feeling sorry for ourselves, just like I did this week...Im so humbled and I apoligize my mind and thoughts are going a hundered miles an hour at this moment and the fellings I have are so extrodinary, I wish I could share what I feel but at this moment I just cant put it on paper. My Brother as I mentioned earlier gave such a profound and powerful email and my mind is still pondering his words. He truely is an example to us all and I feel prompted to ask all of you to read his words again and try to learn from his attitude. He is an extrodinary missionary who will proceed many miracles I so humbley testify, Matt I thank you for your email and testimony this week. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I love you family and friends and pray for you all. I apoligize once more for my mind and spirit are so filled right now as I think of all of your words you sent this week. I know this upcoming week will be an amazing one. Continue to love and develop your talents in this life and Gospel and remember... You are never worthless... God has a reason and plan for everything I so testify.
God be with you till we meet again Elder Benjamin B. Doggett

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