Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Ben #24

I cant tell you once more how powerful your emails are to me. I received so much inspiration this week from you all. Hearing about my cousins journey to the MTC and his adventures in Africa to my all the words of my wonderful friends. Hearing there mission experiences along side Matt and I and to also hear from my friends back home as they encounter everyday life with the influence of God directing their choices. To hear my parents share memories and spirtual experiences of the dealings of life. As time passes I cant help to think how fast it really all goes by us. Dad as you shared your experience with Matt and I as a baby and now as servents of the Lord. Mom as you shared the story of that beautiful baby in the Temple and how close to Heaven we really are. Soon that baby will be all grown up with the Gospel securly in her grasp because of her parents decsion for an Eternal Family. Time is amazing... Life is amazing. Both your emails made me cry as the spirit touched my heart. Matt, my dear brother. I love and miss you with every fiber in my being ( But its ok cause you have the same Fiber in your being, were identical!) haha im so funny! But really meu irmão eu você amo muito. Você não pode entender. Realmente isso é um cosia Eu não posso compartihlar com você em neste momento por que Eu sinto falta você. Matt I love you again Obrigado por seu email semana passada foi muito especial para mim. Again thank you all for your emails they were so powerful.
Ok so this week I dont have alot of time because this is our last week of the transfer so our zone is having a festa in a different area. I wish I could write alot of you back but please know I read ALL your emails and only got the chance to send a few quick ones off but I love you all. I have the feeling this is the last week with my trainer Elder Clay. I cant believe I have been with him for 4 months now, times flys like I said haha. This transfer has been a crazy one filled with alot work. We have so many people we are working with right now. Alot of the problems our investigators face is marriage or relationship. Its so funny cause I have never been married and what little experience I do have in dating is well... you know haha. The Lord though has guided us servents of thee as we have helped our investigators overcome problems and strenghthen their love and relationship. I cant lie, I have learned more about how to have a successful marriage and relationship just in this transfer then any parenting class or amount of dating could have taught me back home. Its crazy how the mission really does prepare you for life. Anything thing can be healed through the atonement, humility and pure love. Pure love is the love of Christ, Service, Charity and and giving complete surrender to the will of the Lord. We all need focus on obtaining the these types of qualities and anything can work out. I promise.
Well as for the events of this week I cant really explain it. I have wittnessed miracle after miracle, blessing after blessing, and the sure hand of God guiding us. I felt this week like just for a moment the Lord lifted me above the fog of the world, and gave me a glimpse of what the joy is. My mind was clear and the path was straight. I know this church is true. This week was definatly powerful as I mentioned. I would like to share a particular event that occured this week that gave me that special glimpse of what the Lord has for me. We received a reference from a member in another area who said they knew a girl in our area who was sick and needed a blessing. She wasnt a member but her boyfriend was and he had explained what a blessing in his church was. She said she would like to receive one so they called us. All day I had been fasting and practicing how to give a blessing in Portugese. memorizing word for word how to properly do it all. As we arrived to the house I was ready and confident to do it... but to my suprise my companion did it all. I thought for sure I was going to get the oppurtunity and felt somewhat once again so lost and confused. I had practiced and and memorized and fasted but still felt like no help to my Lord and savior. I felt like running out of the house, falling to the street and just laying there waiting for the next oni- bus to pass by. Then in my mind I saw it, I saw me on my knees in the middle of a battle field torn and beatten. I couldnt move and just felt so weak. Then I looked up and saw my Savior so pure so full of love for me. He got down and looked me square in the eyes, saying nothing... Thats when I bowed my head and said "I surrender." I realized I was still fighting him. After week after week that you all have been reading and following my emails here I was still fighting my Savior, resisting all he had for me. At that moment I realized I have to give him complete, and total surrender of my Heart and mind... yeah, I have been giving him my might and strength but my heart and mind... no. I was truely humbled and felt the tears once again fill my eyes as I felt him lift me from the dirty ground, clean me off and give me a firm hug. Allowing me, the very person who has been constanlty fighting him to feel his love encircle me. I instantly become so happy and felt so much joy I cant describe it. I must have looked crazy to my companion as I talked and smiled to every single person I encountered throughout the day... I also understood and spoke almost everything it was truely amazing... Also that girl who received a blessing said she felt so relieved and could no longer feel any pain. How amazing is thisGospel.
I know with all my heart this Gospel is true that the trials we face and the hardships we encounter are in the fact the very path leading to him. I felt his love and his power lift me that day and give me the strength to not lay in front of an oni- bus haha :) but to keep going to keep doing his will. Family friends I testify that if we all just give our hearts to him and completely surrender all that we are, we in the end will win, but if we continue to fight and fight with the savior in the end we both will loss. We have to trust in is ultimate power and infinite goodness unto us his children for I am another example of his sure blessings that he does want to give us. Everyone I know with all my heart he lives and loves everyone of you. I wish I could share every moment of this mission with you every little detail and experience but I hope just this tiny piece may in some way help you to understand the joy I am experienceing. I love you all and yes, I do miss you dearly but know I am suppose to be here bringing his children back to him. For this is my calling and purpose and I cannot fail, for God is my strength... I again love you all and apoligize for the lack of details this week and not answering everyone back but please know how much I love you all and cant wait to hear your wonderful testimonies again next week. May God be with you all till we meet again.
Love Elder Benjamin B. Doggett

1 comment:

  1. I love this letter....tears are falling!! What an inspiration...