Thursday, October 11, 2012

Matt #26

Wow everyone... I wish I could explain the events of this past week but there are to many things that happened that I will never be able to describe... Even if I wrote several books haha. So much is happening to me out here in the Mission that is changing who I am. Things back home that I always thought were important are no longer desires or worries of mine. I feel myself becoming a diffrent person in the Lord and its a great feeling. Thank you everyone for the letters and e-mails. There really arent words or emotion that can describe how important they are to me. I love each of you individually and with all my heart. Jenni happy birthday! I Miss you and love you so much. I cant believe how fast time is soaring by.... its unreal. It feels like yesterday I was at the house playing baseball with my sisters after the Sunday session of confrence 6 months ago... werid! I hope you all remember I love you and pray for you all every single day.
          This week has been and for ever will be one of the most difficult weeks of my life. Many things have happened that are pretty insane and I will explain all about the events of this week in the future... maybe haha. Just remember that I am safe and the Lord really takes care of all his Missionarys no matter what! Thats a promise. :) The Mission is an incredible experince! Well im sure your all wondering who my new companion is and if im leaving my first area and going to a new area! Well to be honest nobody knows yet... There has been some major rule breaking within the Mission with many Missionarys and President Tanner has had enough. Missionarys are going home by the dozens, its sad but true... If you dont want to follow the rules of the Mission then your not following the Prophet and your gone. We have many new rules like no soccer and no drinking coca cola because of problems that have been come from these things and Missionarys have been pretty upset about this, but President Tanner said "If you want to play soccer or drink cola or break any other rule you can do it in your house back home" haha pretty powerfull stuff but we need to remember that its our job to be obedient no matter what... even if we dont understand at first why we need to follow these rules, the Lord will shower blessings upon us on his time. :) but anyway because Missionarys are going home President is trying to figure out what needs to be done with the Mission and with the Missionarys, so transfers are taking a little longer then normal but we should know tonight where everyone is going, but through the whirlwind of this week and the crazy experiences I've had we had a light at the end of the tunnel called General Confrence!
        What a Confrence huh? So many changes especially with the Missionary program! So many people freaked out with excitement when the annoucment was made by President Monson and Im sure it was the same back home. :) But I agree with this decison with all my heart. I remember wanting to go so bad right after I graduated and now those who want to will have the chance. What a blessing. This whole Confrence was a blessing to me... I enjoyed every second of it! haha :) One talk I want to focus on was Elder Jeffery R. Hollands talk yesterday about the Savior... I will never forget this talk and the Power behind every word he said to us about the Savior. The one phrase that burns in my mind is "Do you Love me?" This phrase pierced my Heart and every fiber of my soul! It made me contemplate every decision, every event, every moment/thought in my life... Do you Love me. When Elder Holland spoke those words every emotion in the book of emotions hit me hard and I cried like a baby thinking about every event and every decision leading up to this point in my life here in Brasil. It made me think of EVERYTHING! Well to say the least I felt like Alma the Younger when the angel of the Lord appeared to him and called him unto repentance haha this week has been difficult for me and its not because of the work, language or the insane events... For the first time on my Mission I had the battle in my heart to change. I've always talked about change but saying and acting are two diffrent things. All this time on my Mission I've been working and working to convince others of the Gospel but within my very own Heart I was lacking the Faith neccesary to help those around me and to help myself. Can you believe it? 6 months here in the Mission and still I was struggling with this battle that we all are battling within oursleves everyday.... One phrase, "Do you Love me?" All yesterday I sat in silence battling one of the biggest battles of my life within the chambers of my Heart thinking to myself. "Matt why are you here? I thought "Well I'm here for my family and for my friends... to grow into a better person. Im here because its my Priesthood duty and I'm here because I wanted to serve a Mission." All those are great answers and there true but theres more to it then just that. As I was sitting there thinking something happened that I will never be able to describe in perfect words to everyone, but I felt the impression "Elder Doggett why are you here?" go straight to my heart as if someone else had said the words. The answer became very clear in my heart and my life was forever changed in that moment... My answer to the voice in my heart was "Because I love you." Family and Friends I love my savior with all my heart. This week has been and forever will be the most intense/Spiritual week of my life and the most growing one. :) I love this Gospel and I love you all so much. Im not sure I will be able to describe whats happeneded to me this week but things from this point on in my life will never be the same. :) I know with every single fiber of my Heart the Savior is here for us and he loves us. I know the Power of the Atonement is very real and if any of you have problems and things that need to be resolved take action now dont wait! The Lord will take care of you I promise. I want you to know that I love my Savior and Im here because I love him and this is where he needs me to be. :) Now I only have 6 months on the Mission... theres still many things left in the bag for me to learn before I come home, but Im so happy for the things I've learned so far. This Mission is and forever will be a blessing to me I know that with all my Heart. I miss you all very much especially during this confrence week... The Priesthood session just wasnt the same without my incredible father sitting right next to me, but thats ok because in only a short time we will have those times again. :) I love you all and I hope to hear from you all soon. Remember this Gospel is real and that we need to do our best to follow our Heavenly Father I promise you, you all will receive his tender mercies and blessings when we come unto him. Pray for ben and I and all the Missionarys in the world Family and Friends because we need them! :) LOVE you all and may God our Eternal Father be with you till we meet again. Love you All.        From Elder Matthew Ryan Doggett

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