Matt... Once again its amazing how close our mission experiences are. This last week was i think was the hardest, most challenging part of my whole mission. Last friday at about 10:00 in the morning, at the start of our second portion of companionship study my emotions came crashing down. I felt so helpless, so alone, and so discourgaed... I just began to cry. I NEVER CRY WHAT IS THE MISSION DOING TO ME!!!!! haha I felt like a little kid again. My companion just put his arms around me... In frustrartion I said in a mumbled voice. "Why am I here in Brazil... WHY HEAVENLY FATHER, Im so useless!?" I sat there... completely broken. You have read in my emails that I have already had some hard times, like when I sat on the curb... I remembered those feelings I had, and the spirit that testified to me of my purpose... but for some reason I allowed my selfishness to cloud that experience. Then a thought came to my mind... Satan knows all of us! He knows our weaknesses. These are the last days and he is NOT going to stop. If he can get us discouraged and doubt our abilities then he might be able to stop you from doing a great work. He might be able to stop us young men from serving missions or in my case make us think we cant succed. He might be able to stop a young women from being married in a Temple of God and the chance to sustain a eternal family with children secured in the Gospel... Dont let him WIN we have the Lord! After that impression I got on my knees and thanked the Lord, as I prayed the Lord brought peace to my soul. I just cried... This gospel is true, So many memories came flooding in of times I never thanked my Lord. He has truely taken care of me. I had so much back home and I just lived in my perfect little bubble, never truely giving him true sincerce prayer. Give the Lord your heart always make him a part of your life. Dont allow yourself to be poisoned by degree dont tolerate it! Never alow the Adversary to pull you down but turn to the Lord and pray with your heart! SATAN CANT WIN! When you feel discouraged never give in cause tommorow will always be brighter.
Sorry time is short this week, but I wanted to thank you for all the support and love. I feel it lift me through the day. This week was a tough one but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. The launguage will come, teaching will come, Love will come... Only through the Lord. Family, Friends... I have such a new understanding of my savior and what he has done. Our brother suffered for us and our sins, after He was mocked, betrayed, beaten, murdered by those whom he loved and served... and then resurrected... I testify he lives... He lives, I know it! Nothing is going to change that belief, that knowledge I now have. Pray to him whenever you are overwhelmed and lost. I know he will lift us if we allow him. You just need faith, I ve learned faith is a choice... so choose faith in your savior.
Everyone I love you and pray for you. Sorry I dont have much time this week to share much about the mission but just know im trying my best... Missionaries following rules... still a tough one out here for some Elders haha, but Im really trying to be an example. Ecspecially to my companion. Stand up even when you feel alone! I love you all and I love this gospel. Im trying to be a good missionary. This week, though tough, I feel like I changed dramatically. My thought process. My view on what things are important. What this gospel really means to me. I wasted so much time back home. Precious time I could have spent with you all. I love you all so much and really look forward to when I can hear from you all again. Dad good luck with everything your in my prayers and know how much I love you! Mom thank you for those points of the mission. I wrote them down in my study journal Your amazing and know how much I love you always, and sisters, I love you more then Brazilians love Fotebol!... ITs great to have parents who are so in tune along with great siblings who have such strong testimonies. haha Matt bro KEEP AT IT. The lord is shaping us in so many ways. Dont allow like I said in this email satan to pull us down cause if he does that then we cant be intruments and progress the work. Smile and remember we are in this together... Love you all again and cant wait to hear from you all again keep the emails coming!!!!! CHURCH IS TRUE! Get me pictures of this amazing 4th of July and stories and details please!!!! haha
Elder Benjamin B. Doggett